Sleeping between miles...

She came back from work, i was sitting reading newspaper...she looked tired, lurching to reach the bedroom..she looked at me and said "that was a squeezing day at work"..
"Its okay, relax for a while"  said i..
We married 3 years ago, that was a love marriage with no permission from our parents but the love was like a tsunami tide it swept everything away relations,family,emotional attachment, and after the devastation there was a moist,prolific ground to grow our marriage. Time has passed and the love is passing aswell. I dont know she's my roomate or wife, its been complicated..we dont talk much now, 1-2 times at breakfast and the same at dinner. The fanciful dreams which we had seen before the marriage looks shattered.
"Your sister called me" she shouted from the other room, "what was she saying"? Said i, "nothing,was just asking about both of us". I was silent even i was not knowing about both of us..how often we feel that we are right but many times the right is wrong, we both were wrong, we dont talk, we dont love, we just live beacuse we did a mistake some years ago and we are hiding it from everyone beacuse we dont want that our mistake is revealed... there was a time we used to talk for hours and night were short to complete the talks now the hours are so long that i can recall everything of our past..time is always evolving and so are the feelings, and which way the feelings will evolve no body knows..
We sat on the dinner table, she was sitting in front of me, with open showered hair, some of them were coming between the way of spoon to mouth and she was moving again and again so that they dont trouble her. Her face has the same charm as it used to be but i had not noticed her from quite a long time neither she has tried to make me notice.. she looked at me suddenly and gave a hesitant smile, which was too unpalatable to digest. We finished our dinner and she went back to bedroom, this is the same thing happening over from a quite long time and we both are used to it..i went in bedroom switched off the light slept beside her millions miles apart....

Waiting for closed door to open...

They are moving a long journey from totally devastated war zone to a place where they wanted to be in imagination, travelling on foot, passing sea going a along way to go from a country to another in hope of settled,fearless and secure life. Many are dying on their itinerary most of which are child of atmost 8 years.just because of hardship of the internal disturbances and military action of west they are fleeing there home, "home,country,people" cant be compensated with the money or feeding them in refugees tent, they are moving through a deep emotional pain beacuse of the attachment they are leaving at a far way and adding fuel to it is dying of hundreds of people in Mediterranean sea.
We now raise our collars and say yeah we belong to 21st century. But when it comes to humanity we have just 0.21 percent of it..in various platform the world leaders cry about world peace, security,this world is whole one family blah blah blah, but when it comes to just giving a place to live to refugees we are closing border. Hungary,czech republic,Austria,crotia and many others. We should not just look the present condition, in colonial era these Europeans countries made african countries there colonies and used them extensively and now they are closing door..childrens are dying,young are anxious and old are about to die, there insensitivity will haunt them for very long.lets see what way they make a plan for certain thousand refugees, i am waiting for most liberal states of world and there philanthropist population do give shelter to one spending night in open wide sky..
My country is poor, been called as third class countries, but back in 60s my country gave shelter to thousand of buddhist which were finding there way out of the voilent chinese , india even deterioted its diplomatic relation with china for sometime. But we are human, humanity is eternal, relations are subject of good times.latest we have unestimated more than 1 crore of bangladeshi migrants, many call them illegal maybe illegal may be not. They are here to earn livelihood for there family. Its not that we should make our border porous and everyone should be available for home in india,but by proper vigilence and readressing the problem of the migrant we can make more effective policy with the source country aswell..refugees crises is a big crises the most effective would be the certain draft on united nations and making a fund for refugees crises, the source country of migrant should be liable to pay to countries offering refuges shelter thats look quite a easy idea but needs to be made more effective and contemplated in the UNGA.
For now accepting the refugees should be the most urgent order lets dont make our refugees sweat turn into blood.

Disproportionate love...

We were in the middle, i was looking at the other side ; you were following my eyes in the hope of a meet , the fragnance which used to hold me towards you is strayed and now in stage of moribund, you are crying inside in deep sense of despotism to hold me catch my pupils, to come closer to me, again lost in you. I on the other side is not holding back; how did this happen? Am i bored of her? Or she used me fulsomely and i am giving up... her anxious eyes were shouting that she has immense love for me, the problem lies with me; her hairs, lips, eyes, cheeks, hands which used to allure towards her are stucked in ignorance, definately the problem is mine, the dirt is evolving in me, the hate is in me, never thought i will part of in such a way but still its not the end.. she will not let me go, she's a winner, she has always tried and she will try even more harder atleast for now a cold wind blows, the fragnance of her flows with the wind towards me i look back at her lets see untill when.

A day without breath..

There was no sun today, where is the sun? Where is wind? Where is energy? Where is everyone? It has been happening to me from quite a sometime, i am alone when i am experiancing this, evrything is traumatized, all i am doing is quest for survival. How long will it go like this the journey is very hard and that too without breath. I can notify everything from birds to cow there movement everything is seen by my mind like i have never seen it before, i am a newly born boy or im embroiled in negativity, my naysayer opinion have reached my mind. The uncontrolled thoughts are defeating my confidence, my inner strength is lost.
These days have been long my body is used to it but everytimes it haunts me it has a novel substance which i cant defeat but not forever. I will surely bring back the sunlight, the wind, the energy i will bring back everything. This life is for once in the whole universe in the millions of galaxies i am one and i have only this life this negativity will never defeat me may be it is upsetting me now but not forever, it has come to die and my positivity will kill him.
The nights "silent,black" are the real culprits, the nocturnal life which we have choosen for us is leading to hard situation, the lonely ness, the habit of being alone everything is catalyst in the whole negative reaction. To make everything good we have to first start with the good thought..a single thought determines the way for life, so just bring that single positive thought and let it multiply untill it suffocates all the negative in my mind. our mind is very powerful it is the reason of every positive thing and negative thing lets use it and build a positive fort in our mind. So that no one could touch it and scramble it, we should be our own masters our life should be our property, our mind should be our property, and our thought should be our property, lets paint our thoughts with positive colors. Lets bring back the breath again.